This photo, which is also the picture on the header of the page (for now at least), signifies a very important moment that happened a couple weeks ago. While I was in Australia for the Hillsong Conference with some friends, we were visiting the gorgeous Cronulla Beach, and right before we got out of the car, I received some news that may not have seemed to be a huge deal to an onlooker, but although the emotions even startled myself, it rocked me – I mean, took me off guard, shook me up, and left me dazed and confused – (I’m not going to go into the specifics because it would take far too long) – but in that moment, I knew I could do nothing but turn to the heart of God and seek Him in the midst of the vast questions that immediately raced through my mind. I went by myself to this very spot. As tears were flowing and I desperately tried to quiet my thoughts enough to sense His Spirit, all I could do was open my journal (which is in the picture) and begin writing.
After some serious venting, I sat in the warmth of the sun and began to sense what I believe He was saying to me in my spirit (side note – I have never been able to hear His voice audibly, but there have been times, most often when I am writing, that I do sense Him speaking to me deep within my being). The following words began to flow from me – after it ended, I reread those words and a rest and peace fell upon me – there was still confusion and questions regarding the circumstance, but my soul was stilled with truth.
As the Hillsong Conference took place the following days, God began to birth a deeper vision and calling within me – and I don’t know if I would have been as open to it had the previous unrest not caused me to seek His heart as fully as I could.
Anyways, here is the snipet from my journal that spoke truth into me, and I think He is speaking much of the same truth into all of us…
“Be still, my soul. The Lord is on thy side.”
Trust My warmth, Beloved
That word seems to sting a bit now, but I Am speaking that truth into you like before,
and yet, like never before
Trust Me
I do see you
I hear your heart
the desires
the questions
the confusion
the crying out
the passions
the brokenness
Trust in My timing
Trust that I Am
Trust that I Am
Here
Aching with you
Fighting over you
Dreaming in you
Putting things in place you have yet to imagine
Quieting your soul with My singing (Zephaniah 3:17)
Can you hear it?
In this breeze
In the sound of life all around
In the warmth
the waves
In the endless thoughts
your heart-cry
your deep desires beginning to rise to the surface
in this thing stirring within which you are just beginning to sense
I Am here
Breathing rest
Breathing life,
even in this
Calling forth my plan for you,
even in this
Oh my Beloved,
I have a great plan for you
You can sense it
You know all of these things are not simply chance
this exact place
these very emotions
this unique deepening
None of this is an accident
I have been here all along
I Am here all along
Rest in Me
in My dreams for you
My plans for you
My life for you
My hope for you
Trust
that I will give you discernment
to be at peace with this
to move in the wave of My Spirit
Rest in Me, My child.
You are My Beloved, and My desires are for you. (Song of Songs 7:10)
jenn crider 
Sorry for all the typos, as I read over this, after I had posted, I realized I probably shouldn’t have done this without proofing!
Anyways, you get the message, I hope!!
Thanks for sharing your personal experiences so movingly. It was your title that caught my eye as I was blogging this morning. I’m sure you know it is a quotation from a great hymn by Katharina von Schlegel–whose birthday, incidentally, was 312 years ago today. If you’d like to hear a beautiful and haunting version of the hymn, check out my daily blog, Wordwise Hymns, for today.
And just a note about your blog. Don’t know if it’s just my equipment, but light gray text on a black background is VERY hard to read. My be good to make a change, if you can. God bless.
To think that I was lead to your blog tonight when I am in the midst of so much change and yearning for peace and discernment. It is almost like your words in “Be Still” were written just for me from Him to remind me that He has it all under control even when I don’t understand.
I am in the process of closing my Christian Book Store after being here for 32 years (yes, I started a a mere child of 15). My husband and I had operated it together untill his death in 2005 and I have continued on untill now, and business has decreased to the point that I must close it and start a new career at 47. So much change in the past few years till I can hardly keep up. (adoption of Guatemalan princess one year before my husbands death, husbands death, sister death 6 months later, sons best friend murdered 15 months later) And now the closing of this business that has been my life for so long. I so needed these words to remind me that He has it all under control and his pland are for my good. I have to say as strong as my faith is, there have been times over these past 4 years that I struggled with being a single parent to 3 (23, 19, 5) and trying to keep this business together but through it all I know that He has been my rock.
So, keep blogging because you never know how your words can help someone else when they need it most. I have sold lots of your moms music through the years and be sure to tell her that it has been an honor and priviledge to do that through the years. One of my all time Christmas favorites if her “meery Christmas with Love” from many years ago.
So sorry to ramboe but I just wanted to encourage you to continue writing and sharing!!
Lori Oakley
Thomasville, NC
Oh Lori,
My heart is breaking for you as I read your story. Continue to cling to Him – He is faithful – if I know nothing else, He is faithful! And He knows your heart and sees you in this time – He is in every moment – there is a song by David Crowder called ‘All I Can Say’ that says “I didn’t notice You were standing there. I didn’t know that that was You holding me. I didn’t notice You were crying too. I didn’t know that that was You washing my feet.” He is in the midst of these moments with us, sometimes we can feel Him and sometimes we can’t, but nevertheless, He is standing there with us, holding us, crying with us, and washing our feet. Continue to cling to Him as your rock – He will provide what you need – and in this fallen world when circumstances happen that we may never understand, He is our comfort, our shield, our Rock. He does have a plan for you and is working, even through all that has happened, to bring that forth for you. Be faithful to wherever you feel Him call, and He will meet you there above and beyond with His faithfulness – and all for His kingdom. Be encouraged.
And thank you for your encouragement to continue writing – it really means more than you know!!
Thank you so much for your comment!
Blessings,
Jenn